Topic: Letter writing day...
From: Committee for Arranging Levels Manually (CALM)
To: Liver & Associated Metabolic Effects (LAME)
Further to your previous message, we acknowledge receipt of your request. In triplicate. We are unsure why you feel it necessary to release that level of glucose immediately after the Body rises. However in the light of your insistence, and following consultation with the Delivering Insulin Myself team (DIM) to cover this additional load, we can confirm that your request has been granted.
Sincerely Etc
From: Committee for Arranging Levels Manually
To: Liver & Associated Metabolic Effects
It has come to our attention that on Saturday last, despite the agreement currently in place, you failed entirely to deliver the additional glucose into the blood stream that you have been so insistent is necessary. Furthermore, you made no attempt to alert DIM, with the result that the Spotting Hypos Immediately Taskforce! (SH... oh never mind!) had to raise the alarm. We would like to point out that it was at your own insistence that additional DIM procedures had to be put in place. For you to then unilaterally decide to withhold the promised glucose without notice has caused considerable inconvenience to the Body.
Yours etc
From: Committee for Arranging Levels Manually
To: Liver & Associated Metabolic Effects
Following the concerns raised about your recent performance, it is our unfortunate duty to relate that another complaint pertaining to your behaviour has been received. You may recall last year when you were commended for your gallant actions during the dramatic Overnight Overbolused Pizza Situation (OOPS) where your glucose release was instrumental in assisting the Body. Perhaps you were trying to make up for your lapse in delivery last Saturday? Perhaps although yesterday's dip in BG levels was only minor, you thought it had not been spotted? Whatever the reason, it would be extremely helpful if you could consult with other departments before actioning the emergency Dramatic Unexpected Mega-glucose Protocol. The SH..! team already had the situation well in hand with the Consumption of Assorted Really-tasty Bits System. Your unrequested and frankly overenthusiastic intervention, once again without due communication, has caused rather more problems than were strictly necessary. We appreciate that you were trying to help, but once you started your glucose release you really didn't know when to stop did you?
It has been a difficult time for us all since the decline of Pancreas Industries, but really the only way forward is if we all work together. Having a loose canon around who either deposits, or fails to deposit significant quantities of glucose at various times is making the Committee's job significantly harder. It is unfortunate that you are still unable to clearly identify your glucose releases (the proposed system of bright blue triangle on the forehead was rejected). Until some sort of communication system can be installed, what we need from you is measured, gentle consistency, not reckless attention-seeking overreaction. Your prompt attention would be much appreciated.
Kind regards etc
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