Abbott Freestyle Libre results vs BG meter - Review part 2

Last day of 2nd sensor. Complete with crazy-flat overnight graph.

In this update to my initial review of the Abbott Freestyle Libre I wanted to share my experience of what it was like to use and also to provide the promised comparison with results from my regular fingerstick meter (the Contour Next Link USB). If you have been living in a cave and have no idea what I'm on about you can get an introduction to the Libre here.

It is probably worth pointing out at the outset that the Libre WILL NOT give you identical readings to your BG meter all the time. It just won't. They are not even measuring the same things. If that's what you want the Libre to do, you can pretty much stop looking, because it's not going to happen - not with the Libre and not with *any* technology that measures glucose in interstitial fluid and then converts that into an estimate of plasma glucose values (so all current CGM options). More on that later. But first - what is the Abbott Freestyle Libre like to use?

Do the sensors come unstuck?
I found the Libre to be extremely comfortable and unobtrusive to wear and both sensors stayed firmly stuck for the full 14 days. I was almost never aware of the sensor being there, with the exception of one or two times when I leant on it or absent mindedly scratched near it (having forgotten it was there). I did deliberately try to remember it when towelling off after showering to make sure I didn't accidentally dislodge it, but apart from that I barely gave it a second thought. There was very little in the way of itchiness for me and at the end of 14 days the sensor removed to reveal, well... nothing very much. Insertion of the second sensor was as painless as the first. I have seen some comment online where people have found that sensors came loose after just a few days, but that certainly didn't happen to me. With infusion sets I have found that the adhesive seems to need 12-24 hours to get up to full strength. I suspect it is the same for the Libre sensors. If it gets loosened early on you may need to over-tape it with Opsite Flexifix, Tegaderm or something similar. There's not a lot of 'edge' on the sensors and I can see the possibility of the sensor getting 'levered off' if knocked in just slightly the wrong direction.

I wonder what my levels are now?
I think this picture sums up my experience of living with the Libre for 28 days. Since I started attempting to *actively* manage my blood glucose levels four or five years ago I spend quite a lot of time wondering what is going on between my BG checks. I have never really known how often this happened until now - but the Libre released me from any monitoring constraints. So there you go. An average (average!) of 31 checks a day. Something like once every 30 minutes during waking hours. I had expected that my frequency would drop off after the initial excitement, but I remained fairly consistent through the full life of the sensors - checking more frequently when levels were changing more rapidly and leaving hours between checks at times in the day where things are generally more stable. The inconvenience and discomfort of 'traditional' punctured-finger-and-strip-fiddling monitoring means I would never check this often via a BG meter, but for 28 days whenever I wondered what my levels were, I found out. It is easy to underestimate how much of a transformation this is. Any time. Every time. All the time. I could know what my levels were *and* what they had been over the last 8 hours. There was no longer any reason not to look. No 'avoiding' the numbers (whatever they might be!) in between my 'normal' testing routine. Rather than feeling swamped and judged by data I felt completely liberated.

Basal test every day
In my previous post I mentioned how amazing it was to suddenly be able to see what had happened overnight every morning. Overnight basal tests are - as everyone who has undertaken them will know - a real chore. Waking every couple of hours to check blood glucose via fingerstick is a very effective management technique - but it's no fun. But look at what happened when I had 28 consecutive basal tests - the result is at the very top of this post. I couldn't help but tinker with my overnight basal profile gradually moving it from a bit wobbly, to ridiculously level (at least for a short while!). Seeing the patterns every day meant it was easy to spot the general trends and ignore the one-offs. And I made alterations to the 'shape' of my overnight pattern that I would *not* have made without those data.

New technique
After I had been living with the Libre for around 7 days I noticed that I had added a whole new technique to my management armoury. The preventative TBR (temporary basal rate). I've regularly used them since I started with Artoo to cover activity and other things, but this was slightly different. Because of the constant availability of data and the trend arrow that accompanies each check, I found myself setting short sharp TBRs - perhaps 50% for 30 minutes or an hour - to head off an impending dip in glucose levels. I was slightly surprised to realise that the 'level' trend arrow on the Libre doesn't actually mean level as such. It just means not rising/falling fast or very fast. In the first week on sensors I ignored a lowish level because of the 'flat' arrow only to dip below 4.0mmol/L an hour or so later. By using preventative TBRs for flat or more accurately reading-flat-but-slightly-falling readings that were just 'a bit near the edge' I managed to avoid several low level hypos and without bouncing up into double figures. Similarly, micro-boluses of small fractions of units when levels were high-ish (but not yet out of range) allowed me to be bolder in preventing BG drift. WIN!

Data analysis
I really like the simple, clear overview screens on the Libre. They might be a bit simplistic for some, but by dividing the day into four chunks and averaging 7, 14, 30 and 90 days of results in those sections I found it very easy to spot patterns and filter out the ebb and flow of 'diabetes randomness'. I particularly liked the 'Daily Patterns' graph which only appears after 5 days of results are stored and offers an average of daily results along with a 90th and 10th centile shaded area (it's a simplified version of the Ambulatory Glucose Profile graph - see image). It becomes very easy to see which periods in the day are providing the most challenges. You get a similar view (but with many more options, and helpful traffic lights) when you connect the Libre to your PC (or Mac - hooorah!). The Libre software niftily allows you to create smart PDF reports recording all sorts of averages, graphs, low glucose events and mealtime patterns which can really help to understand what has been going on. Additionally any mealtime notes and/or carbs and other details that you may have chosen to record on the libre are transferred for review too. If you have a particular penchant for number crunching you can also download up to 90 days results and details as a 'tab separated' txt file ideal for import into your spreadsheet package of choice. Look for the 'File' menu at the top of the screen, and choose 'Export Data'.

The end result of my 28 days? I had some of my BEST results all year. Lower post-meal spikes, fewer lows, fewer highs. Not bad Abbott! Thank you very much Freestyle Libre.

Ready to insert second Libre sensor

Libre results vs BG meter
Well... this is all very well you say. But if the results the Libre is providing are complete garbage, then it doesn't matter a hoot how nifty the downloaded PDF reports might be.

So how reliable were the results?

It's a good question. And not necessarily an easy one.

As I suggested earlier the Libre is reading glucose levels in interstitial fluid (via factory calibrated sensors) and then interpreting those through an algorithm to present values intended to reflect plasma glucose levels. That's a whole lot of steps in between what the Libre reads and the results you receive. And much as I realise a lot of work will have gone into ensuring that those results will be mostly OK for most people most of the time - clearly it is likely or at least possible that some variation will occur. Not least because the glucose values in interstitial fluid will 'lag' behind blood glucose values (typically 10-15 minutes, though the Libre aims for 5). Things are complicated further by the +/-20% variability which is allowed between BG fingerstick strips (though again these days meters tend to perform more like +/-5% or 10% most of the time).

What matters more to me is not whether results are identical all the time - it is more whether the results I get are useful. Whether any variation is modest enough that the readings, trends and analysis help me manage my diabetes better.

In order to understand what I was getting from the Libre I tested both sensors against my standard BG fingerstick testing routine. This is usually between 6 and 10 fingerstick tests a day, including premeal and post-meal tests as well as those around driving, exercise and activity. Whenever I took a BG fingerstick test on my 'normal' meter (the Contour Next Link USB that works with my pump) I cross-checked with the Libre. At the end of each sensor I then downloaded all the data and compared it on a spreadsheet to see what (if any) differences there had been. I do not for a minute pretend that this is a scrupulously scientific test - or that the results here might apply to anyone else. I took these comparisons purely for my own interest, and share them here in case others find them useful.

Here's a summary table from the first sensor - there were 94 pairs of results (BG meter vs Libre) over the 14 days:

Sensor 1

	BG meter	Libre	Avg +/- % (against BG meter reading)	Avg +/- mmol/L (against BG meter reading)
Average	7.8mmol/L	7.4mmol/L	10.1%	0.7
SD	2.8	3.0	8.9%	0.6
Distribution of readings
Number of readings where Libre higher			18	19%
Number of readings where Libre lower			70	75%
Number of readings equal			6	6%
Number of readings within 0.5mmol/L			43	46%

I don't know about you - but that looks pretty darned good to me. Yes, in amongst that there were some readings which were substantially different. A handful of times around 40% different from the BG meter - to put that into context one was a 4.4mmol/L that read as a 6.1mmol/L - one needs watching the other doesn't. There were also results where the Libre read hypo, but my BG meter confirmed I was in the 5's.

But the vast majority of the data feed is well within usable limits for me. The SD line gives a useful estimate of the range of most of the results. So from an average of 0.7mmol/L difference the most of the results were somewhere between 0.1 and 1.3mmol/L out.

You will notice that in most cases (but not always) the Libre was reading lower than my BG meter - with the result that overall the average of all results for the Libre comes out at 0.4mmol/L lower than my Contour Next Link, but with a slightly wider range (SD of 3.0 vs 2.8). Amazingly though, almost half the time the Libre was reading within 0.5mmol/L of my BG meter - and don't forget that at least some of the differences in readings could be down to the 5-10 minute 'lag' between BGs and interstitial glucose - especially if BGs were moving fairly rapidly at the time.

What I think this means for me in practical terms is that if I was running off results from the Libre more or less full time, with only a few cross-checked results where BG was moving rapidly or if things 'didn't feel right' I would most likely run a little higher most of the time. This would probably do wonders for my avoidance of hypos, but I suppose it may also have a small knock-on effect on my HbA1c.

But.

Isn't there always a 'but'?!

Things get a little more interesting when I switched to Sensor 2. As soon as that sensor started reading the graph 'jumped' down the screen. If the first sensor had tended to read a little lower, this sensor was taking that to new levels. Now Abbott do suggest that the Libre sensors may not read quite so accurately on day 1, but that days 2-14 should be relatively steady. Even on the second day though readings on the Libre were consistently 2mmol/L or more lower. And since there is no calibration option there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

Here are the results for the first 5 days of that sensor:

Sensor 2 - days 1-5

	BG meter	Libre	Avg +/- % (against BG meter reading)	Avg +/- mmol/L (against BG meter reading)
Average	7.1mmol/L	5.4mmol/L	26.2%	1.7
SD	2.3	2.3	13.7%	0.8
Distribution of readings
Number of readings where Libre higher			1	2%
Number of readings where Libre lower			43	98%
Number of readings equal			0	0%
Number of readings 1.5mmol/L or more out			26	59%

You can see the difference in performance for yourself - over twice as far out. Suddenly almost 60% of the time the readings were 1.5mmol/l or more different and almost always lower. I had a few overnight traces that looked as it I'd been on the verge of a hypoglycaemic coma all night - when in reality I'd just been bobbling along in the low 5's (I know because I panicked and checked). On several occasions the Libre just reported 'LO' - with (allegedly) a level too low for it to record.

After several days of 'waiting to see' I contacted the lovely folks at the Abbott helpline who ran through a few checks to make sure I had the sensor in the right place and generally could tell my Libre from my elbow. I had been given a handful of Freestyle Optium Neo strips with my pack of goodies and the helpline person suggested I tried cross-checking against the Libre's inbuilt BG meter rather than some other technology (interestingly these strips also read a smidge lower than my ususal meter). As it turns out the reading on that occasion was pretty close (typical!) so I left it at that and wished I'd called them earlier.

The plot thickens
A couple of days later I had a call from Fiona who I'd met at the Libre pre-launch meeting called to say that a software glitch had been discovered (and fixed) in some of the very early sensors which was causing some interruptions in data and other concerns. I related the issues I'd been having with the second sensor and while they didn't seem to exactly fit with the software glitch described, Fiona offered to replace the second sensor.

In the meantime, and certainly into the second week, the second sensor seemed to be settling down considerably and behaving much more like the first. Here are the results averaged from days 6 to 14:

Sensor 2 - days 6 to 14

	BG meter	Libre	Avg +/- % (against BG meter reading)	Avg +/- mmol/L (against BG meter reading)
Average	6.9mmol/L	6.5mmol/L	11.7%	0.8
SD	2.2	2.1	10.2%	0.6
Distribution of readings
Number of readings where Libre higher			15	27%
Number of readings where Libre lower			38	69%
Number of readings equal			2	4%
Number of readings within 0.5mmol/L			21	38%

Not exactly back to the performance of the first sensor, but pretty darned close. Of course it did take those 5 days to settle. And if I'd been stumping up hard-earned cash for that sensor I suspect I might have been quite miffed that data from 36% of the life of the sensor was fairly useless to me.

I would have expected that a relatively consistent error would have still yielded useful 'trend' data - but in reality I found it very difficult to detach myself from the uneasy feeling that 'red' (hypo) results gave. However much I knew, or suspected, that my *actual* BG level was 1.5-2.5 points higher it was impossible for me to use the information in the same way when the margin of error was that great.

So in the end I am left with one spare sensor yet to use (which I plan to put into action around Christmas time) and just a very slight sense of unease as to what future sensor(s) might bring. When it worked at the 10% MARD that Abbott promise in the marketing literature I found it an incredibly powerful tool. If it were available on prescription and performed consistently like that I would be banging the table and asking to swap my (fairly generous) fingerstick allowance for Libre sensors - topping up with as many strips as I needed on top of that out of my own pocket.

But.

If other sensors only perform to the accuracy of the first 5 days of Sensor 2 then it's a whole different ball game. I wonder if Abbott may come to regret their decision to go for factory calibration. From a user's perspective I have already seen several posts from people who would find it very useful to have a 'manual override' setting where you could offset Libre readings which are consistently out to bring them more in line with our own fingersticks.

All in all I love the Libre and I am really hoping that future sensors live up to overall positive experience I have had so far.

Now that the online shop has opened I'd be interested to hear your experiences if you have used the Libre yourself.

Final verdict: 4/5.

Update: Freestyle Libre now licensed for use in under-18s

15 Checks, Diabetes Audits and Prawns

Last week saw the publication of the National Diabetes Audit (NDA) for 2012-2013. It's a bit like Ofsted for diabetes clinics and includes results for just over 70% of the places providing care for people with Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes in England and Wales. If you want to dig into the vast and weighty documents yourself, they are published online here: www.hscic.gov.uk/nda.

I got as far as skimming Report 1 'Care Processes and Treatment Targets' (check out that horrendous BG testing technique on the cover folks... right into the nerve-ending-packed softness of the fingertip! Use the sides people use the sides) before one of the stats just jumped out and hit me between the eyes.

Way less than half of all Type 1s are getting the routine healthcare checks they should.

40%. Forty. Percent.

My daughter reliably informs me that in GCSE terms that comes out as an 'E'.

The actual figure is quoted as 41.3% and it has been falling since 2010. That's almost a quarter of a million people living with type 1 diabetes who are missing even the most basic annual checks to help them keep on track.

When it comes to actively supporting people to manage their condition effectively by offering them some sort of structured education course the stats are even more eyewatering. Less that 4% of people being offered a place on a course. A measly 1% actually make it onto the courses. There's a lengthy rant right there... but that will have to wait for another day.

Diabetes UK lists 15 healthcare essentials that people with diabetes should get each year:

1. Get your HbA1c measured at least once a year
2. Have your blood pressure measured and recorded at least once a year
3. Have your blood fats (such as cholesterol) measured every year
4. Have your eyes screened for signs of retinopathy every year*
5. Have your feet checked
6. Have your kidney function monitored annually
7. Have your urine tested for protein each year
8. Have your weight checked
9. Get support if you are a smoker
10. Receive care planning to meet your individual needs
11. Attend an education course to help you understand and manage your diabetes
12. Receive care from a specialist paediatric team if you are a child or young person
13. Receive high quality care if admitted to hospital
14. Get information and specialist care if you are planning to have a baby
15. See specialist diabetes healthcare professionals to help you manage your diabetes
16. Get emotional and psychological support

* eye screening is now handled separately and bizarrely is no longer included in the NDA

The ones in bold are the checks that are covered by the NDA. Eight or nine routine measures to check that nothing nasty is lurking, and to be able to do something about it if things are going awry. These checks are not about passing or failing - they are about protecting us.

So what is going on?
Is it just people not showing up?
Is it that the appointments are not available at convenient times?
Is it that people simply do not *know* that these simple routine checks are so very important?
Is it a lack of resources?
Overstretched NHS?
Un-engaged individuals?
Are clinics not helping patients?
Or are patients not helping themselves?

My guess is that it is *all* of those things.

I wrote once before about the exponential rise in the number of appointments that were involved in my 'annual review' and the situation is much the same. Decentralised care may work well as a buzz word, but patients have ended up with 4 or 5 appointments instead of 1, which makes the whole process much more of a faff.

But here's the harsh truth.

Faff or not - if you are living with type 1 diabetes you need to do whatever you can to make sure that you get those checks.

They are not for the benefit of the doctors. They are not for the purposes of making someone's spreadsheet look snazzier. They are for YOU. We live in a world where people struggle to get access to any insulin at all - let alone the particular type and/or colour of pen that they prefer. The very least we can do is turn up for (free!) appointments designed to help us to make it through life with our feet on and our eyes working.

It absolutely appalls me that the figures are what they are. And the people most likely to suffer as a result are not the clinics or doctors, but the very people who are not getting checked.

Yes I'm sure some clinics could help with more flexible appointment times. Some employers might need to be reminded that under the DDA (or whatever it is called this week) they need to make 'reasonable adjustments' to support employees with diabetes in keeping these kind of routine healthcare appointments.

But at the end of the day we have to find ways of attending.

Prawns
Perhaps it would be easier if diabetes was a bit more like prawns.

After 25-odd years I am very glad that diabetes is often a relatively slow-moving adversary. But perhaps part of the problem with all those thousands of appointments from the patient perspective is that diabetes is not enough like prawns.

Perhaps it's not prawns for you. Maybe it's peanuts. Or yoghurt. Or fresh ravioli with ricotta.

When I was in my teens I had an absolutely delicious pub meal out while on holiday. I chose a local speciality of prawns in their shells. They were fabulous. On the way home in the car I began to feel a little uneasy. I used to suffer a little with motion-sickness so put it down to that. I still felt a bit odd and over-full at bedtime. But then... we had eaten rather a lot. I woke with a start in the early hours and knew instantly that things were not right. Not right at all. Somehow I managed to stumble, in the dark, with excruciating urgency to the tiny the bathroom where I remained until the following morning in a wretched, heaving heap.

I still struggle to look at a prawn.

The trouble is there is no such immediate come-back for a missed appointment here or there. Eating a big ole serving of 'not enough time at the moment' prawns in 'missed appointment' sauce doesn't bring me out in a sweat just thinking about it. But the results of missing those checks are potentially even more catastrophic.

80% of the NHS budget that is spent on diabetes goes on treating complications. We owe it to ourselves to do what we can to change that statistic. To beat diabetes one day at a time. To keep ourselves well.

Making sure we get all our routine healthcare checks is a tiny step in the right direction.

The Diabetic Ice Cream Social 2014

The Diabetic Ice Cream Social has been my baby for a few years now. It’s really been everyone’s baby. It’s been a special thing for me to fight misconceptions, and to spread a little bit of change in everyone’s mindsets as to what a person with diabetes can and cannot eat – as well as what moderation looks like. The idea that a person with diabetes gave themselves a disease is repulsive to me, as well as the idea that foods are ‘bad’ or ‘off limits.’ As a person with an eating disorder, as well as diabetes, I feel that moderation (and not deprivation) are key to managing our daily lives with a modicum of enjoyment and success.

So, in 2011, when a local Indiana chef wrote a poorly educated column on type 2 diabetes, he stopped my world. In his misguided crusade against people with type 2 diabetes, he sought to attack the local Diabetes Youth Foundation of Indiana for holding an ice cream fund raiser in order to help children with type 1 diabetes go to diabetes camp.  There isn’t just something wrong with attacking children with type 1 diabetes trying to enjoy life as any other child – there is also something wrong with someone who tries to shame our food choices, and create food militancy. Food militancy is something we don’t need in our body image obsessed society. Food militancy is one of the triggers for disordered eating, and many of the common eating disorders affecting our current society – including diabulimia.

Food militancy is also creating a lot of shaming of people with type 2 diabetes and this has got to stop. NO ONE gave themselves diabetes – not a type 1 and not a type 2. People with diabetes are people who were predisposed to developing the disease, for one reason or another. No one knows what triggers type 1, and though obesity may trigger type 2, the fact is that millions of obese people will never develop type 2 diabetes. We all struggle making the healthiest choices for ourselves, and we all need to learn moderation… and we all suffer from bad luck. Life just happens. The #1 risk factor for developing illness is living. Being alive. But one thing is for sure: none of us need deprivation and shaming.

This is what we seek to spread with the Diabetic Ice Cream Social. We seek to spread a renewed view of the person with diabetes; a renewed perspective, as well as a healthier attitude toward food. I have had some pushback from a few folks with different perspectives – and that’s fine. I respect their life path for managing their conditions. But at the same time, I have had thousands of partners in this crusade – the crusade for freedom to make the best choices we know we can make in order to manage diabetes, without fear or shame from others.

The Diabetic Ice Cream Social is a celebration of life – and you may choose to celebrate it any way you want. You can have an ice cream scoop in any way you please: make it lactose free, fat free, sugar free, make it sorbet, make it wine. Make it whatever you prefer – but make it a statement that says you love life, and you appreciate living it, even with diabetes. Make it with family, with friends… or toast the full moon. Make it your own.

This year, 2014, I am very busy with many life challenges and responsibilities – so I won’t be able to lead the crusade as I always do. I won’t be too far from the fray, though. I will be right here, having my scoop, and cheering it on. My friends at The Blue Heel Society have agreed to take on the Social for me… perhaps for a year or so, we’ll see. But they are just as gung-ho about diabetes awareness as I am, so please know this event will keep going. Give them your full support, as I know I will.

This year, while you have your favorite treat… have it will wearing your favorite pair of blues: blue shoes, that is.  

Half unit Lantus insulin pen free on prescription - at last!

Thanks to Twitter's @ColonelBlightly for use of the pic.

About bloomin time!

I had heard about this some months ago, but then promptly forgot about it.

In April 2014 Sanofi launched the JuniorStar, a 1-30u insulin pen that can be used with Lantus (glargine) insulin and delivers doses in 0.5u increments. Woooo hooooo!

During my least years on MDI, wrestling Lantus into submission was more or less a full-time hobby. My basal requirement changes frequently in response to a wide range of factors (differences in general activity levels, warmer/cooler weather, or more frequently... just because it feels like it). On pump these tweaks are easier to manange, but more than once on Lantus I would seem to find myself in a position where a change of a whole unit up or down was just a bit too much, and I would have to settle for a Hobson's choice dose. It was particularly frustrating because of the 'some units are more equal than others' weirdness that I frequently see when my basal insulin dose is just a little bit out. A unit too much or too little of Lantus over 24 hours could leave me scoffing a massive stack of carbs to stave off relentless lows, or chasing high BGs with units and units of extra rapid-acting insulin corrections.

Diabetes is biology, not maths - and we can't always expect the numbers involved to behave in a predictable, logical way. This will be news to none of you.

So HURRAH to the fine French pharma folks for finally stepping up to the plate and launching a 0.5u pen. Mysteriously though Sanofi are yet another pharma company to market a half unit pen with a 'Junior' mindset (NovoNordisk did the same with the NovoPen Echo). It is as if only children could possibly find a use for half-unit increments. I can only hope that adult patients will not have difficulty* in accessing this potentially very useful addition to their Diabetes Gubbins stockpile.

EDIT: *Due to the ridiculous immediacy of the flow of information in the Twit-o-sphere, having posted this just a few minutes ago someone has already pointed out that the JuniorStar can be obtained directly from Sanofi, without the need to jump through tortuous prescription hoops and bothering your surgery/clinic. Simply contact the Sanofi helpline. Thanks to @davidcragg for the tip :)

Facing the Trigger in the Eye -- Binge Eating Disorder Problems

Life has a funny sense of humor, sometimes... A funny way of testing our wits.

I have a lot of jobs. One of my jobs is for a local church, as their Administrative Assistant. This is a job in which I am transitioning, and their old Administrative Assistant trained me last week, and suggested if I had any questions at all, I could call her. She gives me her business card, and I take it. Later, I'm looking at it, and I find it a bit unusual, as she's labeled herself as a 'Certified Hypnotist and EFT Practitioner,' whatever EFT is. 'Call Your Power Back' it says, under the main header. Under her picture, she claims 'Empowerment and Nutritional Cleansing.' -- Now, this is where I give you guys the disclaimer that I am a skeptic, and I am not fond of new age methods and things. I really like science a lot. I don't believe in cleanses and other kinds of 'fasts' people do to get 'clean' or whatever -- because science doesn't back them up (they can also be dangerous).

I flip the card over -- and what do you know... before and after pictures of people at the worst of their weight gain, and then ripped to no end with muscle, and 'in shape.' I feel the sudden judgmental thoughts going through me -- the sudden comparisons of 'I'm not as good as these people.' Then I'm reminded this person just wants to make a compelling case to get my dollars. I'm reminded that she has confessed to me that she has a lot of health issues herself, and from her appearance is not in what one could term as 'ripped' or in as 'excellent' shape as the people on the back of her business card, and that she's just another human being. I tell myself I have a binging problem, not a weight problem. That I need love, and not a carrot on a stick. I don't need to be Mrs. Olympia 2015.

I will write her numbers down -- and just throw the card away.

Speed boats and oil tankers - Guest post for Diabetes UK

My ups and downs have been a little more up and down of late (read for most of this year, it's still early Spring, right?). Not exactly disastrous, but I've not really managed to ever get things into any kind of groove for more than a week at a time. A bit wearying to say the least.

Part of me knows the best way to improve things is to go back to basics and do some fasting basal tests and tweak my basal profiles based on actual information rather than the (un)educated guesswork I've been relying on for a while. Another part of me is having enormous difficulty summoning up any enthusiasm, since I know that the summer holidays are coming and I'm likely to stop going to the gym for a couple of months which will have a knock-on effect in itself.

So I'm spending my time grumbling and hurrumphing instead (my family are so lucky!).

On the plus side it does give me a chance to jot down this analogy that I've been meaning to for some time. It's something that usually strikes me when my BG levels are a bit errant, and insulin and food are just not playing nicely.

When it comes to trying to balance the effects of food and insulin on blood glucose levels (well and everything else.. but specifically food and insulin), one thing that makes it very tricky is the difference in the speed of action of carbohydrate and insulin. It's not enough to accurately match the dose of insulin to the amount of carbohydrate you are eating - you have to try to ensure that the two act more or less together to reduce BG wobbliness (technical term).

Almost all carbohydrate is very much in the speedboat class. Fans of glycaemic index tables (GI) might agonise over whether something is high GI, medium GI or low GI, but in my experience the differences equate to something being 'almost instantaneous', 'really very fast indeed' or only 'very fast'. Not a great deal of protection against the ravages of a post-meal spike, either physiologically, or that emotional kick in the guts of seeing your levels rise from a decent pre-meal number well into double figures an hour or so later. From the very first mouthful those big outboards start roaring and the carbs go zipping and zooming about, gleefully spraying glucose in their wake.

Insulin, on the other hand - even the fancy schmancy 'rapid acting' analogues can seem painfully slow to get going. More like one of those behemothic oil tankers or container ships. With a great groaning and clanking, the thrum of the plunger on an insulin pen or pump delivers the dose and then... Nothing. Watch and wait. Is it an illusion? Is it actually moving yet? Nope. Still can't see anything happening.

Vooooom! Swish! The carbs go tearing past again. Running rings around the slumbering giant.

This is particularly the case for me when I am waiting for a correction dose to kick in. I've had to stop myself from checking post-correction BGs before an hour has elapsed. Any less than that and the chances are my BG will be almost unchanged. An hour! Thanks Novo Turgid - not exactly breakneck.

Of course... one of the things about an oil tanker is that once it is moving, there's not a lot you can do about it. All those stories about them needing however many hundred nautical miles to slow down or turn a corner. And so it can feel with rapid insulins.

Nothing... nothing... nothing... Ah good, movement! Good... All good, back into range. Right that's enough now thanks... STOOOOOOOOOP!

But on and on, the dose lumbers forward - an unstoppable force. All-ahead full. The tanker has now run straight over those speedboats crushing them to matchwood and we could very well be steering directly toward Port Hypo.

Corrections can be a tricky course to navigate. Artoo tries to help by offering a suggestion of 'Active insulin' - how much dose is still working away, but there are *many* variables to factor into that equation. Sadly I find Artoo's attempts to be the vaguest of indications at best, and often wildly inappropriate to the particular circumstances of the moment.

Patience is the skill I have to master. I am always trying to remind myself that while the spike in my blood glucose levels may have happened in only 45 minutes or so, the insulin correction will only have stopped after something like 4 or 5 hours. If I get impatient and overcorrect in the meantime I am likely to cause myself another problem (and more wobbles) by overdoing it.

Aye aye, Cap'n.

Hands up who thinks kids with diabetes deserve decent care and support in schools

I was diagnosed at 21, during the final year of my degree. Not perfect timing I suppose, but I recognise that I had it a whole LOT easier than the thousands of kids who are diagnosed at a very young age and who have to try to balance life with type 1 diabetes alongside the unpredictability, raging hormones, growth spurts and peer pressure of school life.

I. Cannot. Imagine. It.

So hats off to Diabetes UK for their 'Make the Grade' campaign which aims to improve the support offered to children with diabetes in schools.

If you'd like to find out a little about what they are doing and why it is so important, they have produced a nifty piece of You-Tubery here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDsUSoDtyjM

The "I can..." of insulin pumps - Diabetes Week 2014

The theme of this year's Diabetes Week is 'I can...'. Here's a guest post I was invited to write for the Diabetes UK blog.

When I was thinking about this year's theme of 'I can' I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone last week about insulin pumps. It was something that they were being encouraged to consider, but like pretty much everyone else (myself included) their initial reaction was uncertainty. Uncertainty over being connected to something 24 hours a day. Uncertainty about relying on a fragile piece of technology to keep them alive. Uncertainty about how it would make them feel and how others might view them. Uncertainty over whether it would actually improve anything at all. In short, they didn't really think it was for them.

I know those feelings well. I had them all, and many more besides. I was 'pump averse' for many years. My clinic suggested that it might help with my recurrent hypoglycaemia, but could never really articulate how that might happen. All I could see was a big bunch of (what I thought were) downsides.

In the end, for me, it was reading the experiences of pump users online that convinced me to give it a go. The day to day nitty gritty of how it helped them. Now I'm not saying that insulin pumps are for everyone. Some people wouldn't want to touch one with a barge pole, others do just fine on Multiple Daily Injections and are completely happy as they are. But if it is something you are considering, here are a few 'I can's that an insulin pump has given me to add to your thinking:

If I want to go to bed at 5.0mmol/L, I can.
Ahhhhh basal! I have been through quite a few basal insulins in my 25 years of pancreas-impersonation. In the old days we were always advised to have a snack before bed. Why? Well because in all likelihood your basal-du-jour was going to be a bit over-enthusiastic in the early hours and could well plunge you into an overnight hypo. It was many years before I discovered 'basal testing' (systematically adjusting your basal insulin by fasting tests so that it just holds you steady) but try as I might, even with fancy schmancy analogues I could only ever get my basal 'near enough' on MDI. A bit too much here, not quite enough there... make up the differences with meal doses and guesswork. With a pump, the flexibility of multiple basal patterns which can be tweaked and changed with almost infinite precision mean that I can adjust things so that I am actually starting from a level playing field. To my mind, basal is the bedrock of my BG levels. If my basal is out, even by just a little bit, my meal doses and corrections just do not play fair. So I no longer have to worry about stocking up on carbs before bed, because my basal insulin should hold me level and when I need less insulin overnight I get less. Where I need more just before breakfast, I get more.

If I want to give a really accurate dose, I can.
My doses on MDI were often a bit 'ballpark' to be honest. I have always counted carbs and altered my doses based on what I am eating, but I usually rounded up or rounded down to make things easy. Plus I would use insulin:carbohydrate ratios that meant I didn't have to get a calculator out all the time. The Accu-chek Expert was a great tool on MDI for tweaking doses, but I was still using a 'whole unit' pen so there was a degree of rounding even then. Now I can bolus in decimal places. And those tiny tweaks of insulin here or there do seem to make a difference. True enough my carb estimates are still often done by eye, but at least one part of the puzzle is now being calculated and delivered precisely.

If I want to stop here for lunch, I can.
This was the biggest surprise for me. Rediscovering spontaneity. I began pumping with an fairly entrenched anxiety about being hooked up to something 24/7. I know almost no one who has not had that when considering an insulin pump. Many people say that within a few weeks (days for some people) they become completely at one with their new robot pancreas and never give it a second thought. I can't say that it was quite so quick for me, but certainly in less than six months I had stopped noticing being attached at all and my emerging 'unthought' behaviours (like automatically hooking it to a t-shirt when getting changed) meant I never really gave Artoo another thought. If you are newly on an insulin pump and it still feels a bit of a nuisance or 'in the way' hang in there. Where was I? Oh yes... Spontaneity. So I was well prepared to dislike being attached, but I really hadn't expected that attachment would turn out to be such a bonus. Out on a wander on holiday... get a bit distracted and it takes rather longer than anticipated... Oh this pub looks nice, shall we stop for lunch? What would have always previously been "No we can't, I didn't bring my pens with me" has simply become "Yes!". Wherever we are now I always have my 'kit' with me, and while I used to like the idea of being able to leave all this stuff on a table and just walk around 'like a normal person', personally I have come to realise that I feel much more 'normal' if I can eat whatever I fancy whenever I want to, without having to remember to bring a case full of gubbins with me everywhere.

If I want to have 20 boluses/corrections/snacks in a day, I can.
Well strictly speaking I always could have, of course. But in reality I never did. There is something so easy and effortless about push-button dosing that I am far more likely to add in a fraction of a unit here or there during a day when I recognise that I probably wouldn't have bothered to get a pen out, airshot, dial up and inject. This has increased freedom around snacks too. Where I previously found them just to be too much of a hassle on MDI, almost always resulting is a BG wobble in one direction or other (depending on whether I had bothered to bolus or not) I've had much more success with the effortless mini-doses a pump offers. It's easier, so I bother to do it.

If I want to run a marathon (or just vacuum the stairs), I can.
Again, this was something I more or less tamed with MDI, but the additional options available on a pump, like the ability to set a 'temporary basal rate' for several hours, have added considerable 'polish' to many of those day-to-day conundrums of physical activity. I am far less likely to see my BG levels dip below my target range when exercising these days and I'm buying far less Lucozade!


Just a few things of the top of my head. I'm sure most people on pumps could write their own list. Of course diabetes is still annoying and frustrating quite a lot of the time. A pump is not a magic bullet and it still involves a fair bit of faffing about. But for me having a pump has made a tighter set of BG levels more possible, with less effort and far, far fewer nasty lows.

If you are struggling with wrestling your diabetes into some sort of submission and have been offered a pump as a possible way forward I'd suggest giving it a go.

If I can do it... You can.

The 'busy bar staff' tip - DBlog Week Day 5

Today's topic for Diabetes Blog Week is all about hint and tips - Share the (non-medical) tricks that help you in the day-to-day management of diabetes.  Tell us everything from clothing modifications, serving size/carb counting tricks to the tried and true Dexcom-in-a-glass trick or the “secret” to turning on a Medtronic pump’s backlight when not on the home-screen (scroll to the bottom of this post). Please remember to give non-medical advice only! (Thank you Rachel of Probably Rachel and Kelley of Below Seven for this topic suggestion.)

Busy bar staff. Bustling restaurants. "Diet coke please" I shout over the ruckus at the bar and hope that the person taking the order heard properly and is being careful to put their thumb on the right button on the nozzle. But then, some time later a BG test reveals that it was the regular, full-on, carb-laden version instead. Never a happy moment. And the uncertainty of it *always* crosses my mind when I order a diet drink in a bar or restaurant.

Many people seem able to taste the difference between the two, but I've never been able to be sure. I knew for years that you can use urine glucose testing strips to check, but I never quite got around to going and getting any. But the solution is actually far simpler than that. In the unlikely event that anyone reading hasn't had this idea themselves already, here's a tip I picked up a year or two ago from a forum which I have used ever since:

Whenever I get my diet drink order, I just dip my finger in the top of my drink. Within a few moments the liquid will begin to dry. A full-sugar drink will make your fingers go sticky whereas a diet drink won't (the gaps between my fingers seem particularly good at sensing the stickiness).

Simple, effective and no equipment needed.

When things are going wrong - DBlog Week Day 4

Diabetes Blog Week Day 4 Mantras and More. Yesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets us through a hard day. Or more specifically, a hard diabetes day. Is there something positive you tell yourself? Are there mantras that you fall back on to get you through? Is there something specific you do when your mood needs a boost? Maybe we've done that and we can help others do it too? (Thanks to Meri of Our Diabetic Life for suggesting this topic.)

Living with diabetes can be a very lonely struggle at times. When it's behaving and doing more or less as it's told it's not too bad. But when you are struggling to make sense of it from day to day and when everything you try just results in more chaos and apparent BG randomness it can be very difficult to catch your breath. Erratic blood glucose levels are physically and emotionally draining. Often compounded by a little nagging voice in your head whispering about the possible damage you might be doing, and what troubles these levels may be storing up for the future.

It's not easy to get through those days, but I think for me it's a combination of grim determination, digging deep and just carrying on carrying on.

As for mantras and words of wisdom? I'm afraid I can't offer any of my own. So instead, unashamedly, I am going to cheat. Here are some from other people:

"It's not about how hard you hit. It is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward" (Rocky Balboa via Grumpy Pumper).

"Yes, you can." (sorry Mr Obama).

"You play the hand you're dealt, and you play it to the best of your ability. The rest is irrelevant." (or some other variation of it).

And of course... The very first thing that popped into my head when I read the topic. Always remember:

"You can do this" (Thanks Kim - youcandothisproject.com)

Ups and Downs - DBlog Week Day 3

It's day 3 of Diabetes Blog Week 2014 (Thanks Karen!). May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope? (Thanks go out to Scott of Strangely Diabetic for coordinating this topic.)

I'm a bit late posting on today's topic which has given me a chance to browse around a few posts on the link list. One of the strengths of the Diabetes Online Community is the sense of shared experience. Shared struggle. I have read some heartbreaking posts today, but I've also read many that have just made me think, "Yup! Me too." What might have been a difficult topic has actually been hugely encouraging.

The emotional effort of living with a long term condition cannot be underestimated. It is really great to see its importance increasingly recognised in recent years both by clinics, HCPs and by patients themselves.

Like many people I am mostly fine most of the time. But I think everyone who lives with diabetes for any length of time will be familiar with those days when it just seems too much to carry. The weight of it unbearable. The prospect of managing another day with it almost impossible.

So what drags me down? What is my particular trigger?

Well you don't have to read many posts or tweets of mine before I'm moaning about chasing the moving goalposts.

Here's an example. Three consecutive Wednesdays. Each start with a breakfast of 30-35g carbs (2 slices of the same brand of bread, toasted). Then a trip to the gym - 25 minute medium pace run and 10 minutes light weights/core. Lunch is two more slices of the same bread as a sandwich and a medium-sized apple. Evening meal will contain around 50-60g carbs and is likely to be one of 5-10 tried and tested family faves. There is just enough variation to keep me sane, but a clear attempt to reduce the huge number of variables involved so that doses/approaches that have been carefully tweaked *should* give reasonable results. Should being the operative word. Here's what happened:

The eagle-eyed among you may have spotted that the second Wednesday didn't quite go to plan. The first was not too shabby at all, while the third was just bewilderingly level.

And yet did pretty much the same things, in the same way.

I put just the same amount of effort in. I played my part. But for no discernible reason my basal requirement altered dramatically around Wednesday #2. So then it's back to basal tweaking for the next 5-6 days (often much longer) with all the 'out of range' results and uncertainty that entails until yesterday when it began to fall back into place. 

Tomorrow? Who knows!

I've been chasing these changes back and forth for months. For years actually. Some times I get some stability for several weeks on the trot. But not often. And I recognise that I am incredibly lucky to have it so good.

But this is the grind for me. The thing that can wear me down. The actual doing of the routine is not so bad. Some routine, occasional special occasions/treats/holidays, then back to routine. That always seems doable.

But putting in all the effort and getting a BG roller coaster back seems less than fair. Not exactly a reward for any self-control I may have mustered. And every time the goalposts chase off into the distance it's more effort, more tweaking, more testing. And all the while, more out of range results and the spectre of diabetes-related nasties prowling around the edges of my consciousness.

But... And it's a BIG but...

Every time I rant about the frustration of having to fix something I haven't broken - EVERY time - someone will be there, day or night, from one corner of the world or another, to offer support, sympathy, smiles.

This is the beauty of the DOC. We are stronger together.

Poem: Helpful comments - DBlog Week Day 2

Today's DBlog Week challenge is to write a post as a poem. Here goes...

Helpful comments

Was it because
You had too many cakes?
Or ate too many sweets,
Is that what it takes?

My Grandmother had it
And she lost her eyes.
My Uncle's feet fell off
To everyone's surprise.

Can you eat that?
Can you eat that?
Can you really eat that?
Can you eat that?
Should you eat that?
You shouldn't eat that!

Injecting yourself?
I don't think I could
I'd rather die...
(Well actually, you would!)

Increased risk
Of heart attack, stroke,
Kidney failure, blindness,
Body broke.

What was this high from?
And why there that low?
You simply must
Try harder, you know.

Can you eat that?
Can you eat that?
Can you really eat that?
Can you eat that?
Should you eat that?
You shouldn't eat that!

Thanks for your help folks,
But can I suggest
You think before speaking
We're trying our best.

Change the world - DBlog Week Day 1

Thanks to Karen Graffeo this week is the 5th annual Diabetes Blog Week.

Today's topic is 'Change the world'.
Let’s kick off Diabetes Blog Week by talking about the diabetes causes and issues that really get us fired up. Are you passionate about 504 plans and school safety? Do diabetes misconceptions irk you? Do you fight for CGM coverage for Medicare patients, SDP funding, or test strip accuracy? Do you work hard at creating diabetes connections and bringing support? Whether or not you “formally” advocate for any cause, share the issues that are important to you. (Thanks go out to Kim of Texting my Pancreas for inspiring this topic.)

Hmmmm... Well I'd usually bang on about the power of peer support and the DOC, but since my last post was about that very thing I've decided to take this topic as more of a fantasy 'what if anything were possible' type thing.

So if it's not a cure and diabetes is continuing and if I could change anything what would I choose..?

I wish there was more honesty and fairness. Specifically when it comes to medical research and product development.

Perhaps I have got this wrong. Maybe I'm just being too jaded and cynical. I am absolutely sure that most people who undertake research are paragons of honesty and integrity, but I'm afraid I do worry about the impartiality of some research studies into new treatments which are (inevitably) funded by the companies who have invested thousands in research and development and now need to turn a profit. Small, commonplace things like studies having a 'run-in' period where carefully screened participants get to try the therapy before the trial actually starts so that people who don't get on with it don't take part. Hey-presto, when the trial data are collected - almost no drop-outs and hardly any side effects reported. Results being extrapolated and amplified with 'mathematically modelled' outcomes. If x changes to y then the model suggests that umpty bazillion people will be 50% better off (rather than simply counting the number of events that did or didn't actually happen in the sample population). Data meta-analysed to within an inch of its life and suddenly the conclusions reached 12 months ago that there was not very much benefit, get republished with a handful of results added to suddenly show something startlingly different.

The problem for me is that it actually takes quite a lot of effort to go into the detail. Part of my work with NICE as a patient representative on the Type 1 Adults Guideline Development Group has involved reading and reviewing many more research papers and results than I would ever have normally. It soon became clear to me that behind the confident assertions of the 'conclusions' by the authors of some papers there's a sort of hollow flimsiness to the whole thing. And in these days of 'evidence based' medicine this gives me more than a little uneasiness. Some major decisions are taken about what is or isn't an appropriate way of treating people are taken on the basis of medical research results some of which - to my inexperienced eye - looks rather less than rock solid. But who does that? NICE are pretty good at trying to filter though the mire most of the time, but so many decision makers, politicians and journalists seem only interested in the headline.

Now I'm not quite in the 'the whole thing is a complete Big Pharma Conspiracy' camp, but I do wish we lived in a world where I didn't have to worry about the motivations and financial background to all this. Where I didn't have to look for the agenda behind the research. Where new treatments and therapies and approaches were developed, adopted or dropped on the basis of what actually worked for people rather than what made the most money for the companies involved.

I realise that I am extaordinarily lucky to live in a country with an organisation as amazing as the NHS to underpin my healthcare, but there is only so much money to go around and I would love it if every single penny of that was being spent in the very best ways on the most effective treatments, interventions and (shock horror!) non-drug based methods like, er, you know, type 2s doing rather better when they eat fewer carbs.

Oh... and if I ruled the world Bakewell Tart would have absolutely no effect on blood glucose levels too.

Diabetes Speed Dating Clinic Type Thing

Some months ago I found myself looking back over the past few years.

If you've read our blog before (congratulations on your uncommon stick-ability) you may remember that we began writing about my diabetes as a family as a result of an unusually nasty hypo. One which made me question whether I was quite as competent at managing my diabetes as I liked to think I was. Posts from others in the household have dwindled rather, and you've ended up stuck with me. Sorry about that. But I look back over the past few years and realise that I have been on a full-on misty-eyed X-Factor-Strictly-Voice-finallist 'journey'.

I was reminded about this yesterday while reading a blog post by The Grumpy Pumper about his own story of venturing into the Diabetes Online Community (DOC). I have had similar conversations with Dave (@SowerBee) previously too.

It seems to go something like this...

1. Get diagnosed
2. Learn to muddle along in your own way, with varying degrees of success
3. Never, or almost never, meet or speak to another actual real-life person with diabetes
4. Feel slightly isolated and faintly dissatisfied with how you are doing but don't know what to do about it
5. Lose a bit of faith in suggestions made by various healthcare professionals/clinics/consultants/registrars/DSNs (what do *they* know - they don't live with this day-to-day, harrumph etc)
6. Carry on for 5/10/15/20 years
7. *Something* happens
8. Look for support online and/or meet other PWD face-to-face (eg on DAFNE)
9. Lightbulb moments ensue
10. Engage, share, try new strategies, feel empowered
11. Understanding and management of condition is transformed

Now here's the thing.

This is a pattern I see repeating, time and time again in the experiences of others just as it did with me.

But there are still so many people at point 5 or 6. People for whom the standard structure of clinic appointments just isn't quite working, but who either don't realise that 'peer support' like the DOC exists, or who would run a mile from the very idea of it, believing that it is 'not for them'. I know the second group well. I was a fully paid-up member for all the years that deep-down in my heart I knew I was struggling a little, but made myself believe that 'this was as good as could be expected' and 'nothing works'. Of the 300,000 people living with Type 1 in the UK how many are connected with others? 3,000? 10,000? That still leaves the vast majority 'soldiering on' on their own with only an Annual Review for company.

So what can we do for them?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that peer support could fully replace 'proper' consultations with qualified and well-trained healthcare professionals. I am aware that dark, weird and scary corners of the internet exist, where all sorts of odd ideas are bandied about as fact (though these are hard to maintain in well-populated, mixed groups and in my experience the DOC doesn't stand for nonsense). But I'm also aware that there is nothing quite like hearing experiences of someone in your position, who does live with the same condition as you every day. Who faces the same struggles and has tried strategies that you might consider.

I've also spotted another phenomenon. If you attend a 'meet up' of forum posters, bloggers, tweeters or others who live with diabetes you will not be able to get them to shut up. In fact, you will struggle to get a word in edgeways. Questions will be asked, approaches and strategies compared, support offered, understanding and empathy for the sheer relentlessness of it all given freely.

I'm also aware that every day, up and down the land, dozens of people sit side-by-side with other people with diabetes in stony silence.

And this strikes me as odd. Or at the very least a massive missed opportunity.

I've been meaning to write this post for months, but kept putting it off because I could never quite get my head around the details. To be honest I couldn't even work out a proper title for the post (this you will have noticed). But the time has come to just 'put it out there' to see if some brave Consultant or Clinical Lead can do something with it. Someone like Partha perhaps?

Here it is: Wouldn't it be great if there was a way to harness all those wasted minutes in the waiting rooms at diabetes clinics. If there was some way of facilitating peer discussion and support while we are all sat there waiting for our number to come up. At the very least it might prompt some actual questions to ask in the appointment itself, rather than everyone just sullenly descending into smile-grunt-nod territory.

Something a bit like speed-dating. Sit opposite a person or two for 5 minutes, ask them how they are getting on. How long they have had diabetes. Is there anything they particularly struggle with. Do they have the same problem I do with this or that? What do they do about it? Ring a bell, everyone moves around... 'You'll never guess what that last bloke said...' 'Really? Oh I get that too...'

Of course there would have to be some sort of 'opt out' for people who simply can't face the idea. But I'd love it if we could break the unwritten rule in diabetes clinic waiting rooms that 'thou shalt not say anything to anyone'. For people to be actively encouraged to compare experiences and support each other. So that each clinic appointment would combine the very best of both D-meetups and HCP input.

If that was on offer - would you join in?

Keeping the Patient Dignity

I've had type 2 diabetes for nearly 4 ½ years. Though not a very long period of time, it's still been very challenging...

I've lost weight, gained weight, lost weight; I've low carbed, extremely low carbed, and eaten intuitively; I've exercised myself to death, been a couch potato, and a simple walk around the block lover; I've quit soda, drank only water, and then gotten on diet soda, again... I've had highs and lows, and lows, and highs. I've been proud of myself, and disappointed in myself -- and I've learned just how HARD it is to change myself -- all willpower aside. I've even dealt with some very angry type 1 diabetics and some very unhealthy diabetes forums and communities.

All of these challenges aside, none of these compare to the one big challenge I've had to face while living with type 2 diabetes... keeping my dignity as a patient.

I'm no stranger to the discussion of keeping the patient dignity. I've challenged various prominent diabetes writers on their own biases and deliberate fact twisting, I've written various letters to television programs, to diabetes programs like Take Care of Your Diabetes, to celebrities like Conan O'Brien, and have even hosted an online Diabetes Ice Cream Social event to get people thinking differently (and been skewered for it). My most famous of these discussions on patient dignity, however, happened as an ePatient Scholarship recipient, when I attended Stanford University's Medical School, for their 2012 Medicine X conference. (For that little escapade, I got editorialized by Esther Dyson as someone who was wanting to pass the buck for being fat.) 

And therein lies the rub. We want to find people to punish and blame. We want to skewer people for "giving themselves" type 2 diabetes. 

This is not an abnormal thing. It's actually a part of human nature to want to find vindication for issues -- it's a form of 'negative altruism.' The problem is that the social dialogue that has been crafted in the media, and in part thanks to illness advocacy organizations like the ADA, various medical groups, and those who want to exploit the obesity and diabetes medical communities -- has been centered on discussing obesity and diabetes as though they were a crime against society (i.e., obesity and diabetes are going to bankrupt the economy, destroy the healthcare system, our children, bring governments to their knees, destroy third world countries, bring a second coming of Christ, etc.) So, people with either obesity or type 2 diabetes, are not seen as persons struggling to take ownership of their health issues -- but as people failing to take accountability for a crime against society. "Be accountable for your health," they say. Obesity and diabetes are not seen as personal struggles for personal health ownership -- but as a moral failing of the individual, a crime against society, and as a justification for social outcasting.

This is a HUGE undercurrent in the diabetes dialogue at large! 

It colors the mindsets of many an educator, clinician, registered dietitian, media or TV personality, people trying to sell us goods and services, and of course... persons presenting new technology at a conference like Medicine X. It's a problem. It's a HUGE problem. And when one addresses such a problem, one is portrayed as though one were trying to pass the buck for being obese, or having diabetes. There's a certain self important arrogance about it all... If I point out your moral failing for having 'given yourself diabetes,' then I must be a more moral, and worthier, contributing citizen to the society at large. 

Now, this blog post is not about whether or not one can 'give oneself' diabetes. That would be an entirely new blog post -- and I think I've spoken on that before... My overall view on whether one 'gave oneself' diabetes, however, is that it's IRRELEVANT. Yes, it's irrelevant. Once a person has diabetes, whether or not they 'gave' themselves diabetes is, quite frankly, irrelevant. One can analyze a person's decisions and life style choices till the cows come home... but once that person has AIDS, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc... is it now time to start treating them without respect, or dignity? Should we spit on their faces, and socially mock them while at the same time claiming to try to help them? "I'm going to help you, fatty, because you can't help yourself! You have no self control, and you can't stop eating!" 

I think many misunderstand my words here, when I speak of patient dignity. Patient dignity is NOT a patient passing the buck; it is not a patient not taking ownership of their health... Dignity simply means treating someone with a certain basic level of respect for being a human being in the midst of a trying, and challenging situation -- whether of their own doing, or not. We are all human; none of us is above the struggle to make the best choices. Though this is another topic worthy of further exploration in a different blog post, the food choices many of us make day in, and day out, cannot be completely and genuinely labeled as 'mistakes,' for they are the product of our programming as children, as members of some particular society, and as mammals evolved (thanks to natural selection) to prefer more nutritionally dense foods, especially in order to better face periods of famine. While many have had the blessings of genetics, and a healthier food environment overall (familially and culturally), it takes enormous effort to change oneself as an individual, because it is not simply a product of will -- it is a product of reprograming, and reprogramming is HARD. You aren't just fighting your family's bad eating choices, you are also fighting millions of years of evolution! So it is thus, unfair to treat these issues as though they were black and white, and as a people's moral failings, or as a crime against society. Also -- the person with type 2 diabetes is NOT accountable for their health to you -- so get over yourself. Type 2 diabetes has many different triggers (not causes), of which obesity is just one of them, and the others are not quite as uncommon as people want to think. The scientific and peer reviewed studies showing this are there -- but they seldom get public light, because they are NOT media-attention worthy. Sensationalism is simply what sells. 

All of these things aside -- the overall goal of ANY health initiative by any group is to make positive change. But if we want to help a patient community to make positive changes toward a general health improvement, what we want to do is focus on that 'positive' word. Putting the word "skinny" in front of your company's marketing, cracking jokes about a community's obesity or bad eating habits, how they gave themselves diabetes, stereotyping, claiming diabetes can be cured (or blaming people for not curing themselves), turning them into a 'meme' or down talking to them is NOT going to make positive change. Instead, all it will create is an underculture of social pariahs who are not just denied services and tools, but who do not seek the necessary medical attention they need, the tools and education they deserve, or the new lease on life that they could have. In other words, the culture we have NOW.  

If you make it too embarrassing and shameful to have diabetes -- people aren't going to work toward not getting diabetes... People are still going to get diabetes, and they are going to die in silence, from diabetes. 

In the end, the person who'll end up costing more to a society is not the person with diabetes: it is the diabetes bully. 

Getting animated

I was remembering back to my heady art college days recently, particularly some early experiments with animation. Animators at the Disney studios developed 12 principles of diabetes animation in the 1930s, including anticipation, follow through, slow in/slow out and, of course, squash and stretch. All these seem to have an uncanny resemblence to how my blood glucose levels have been behaving.

From time to time (read more or less constantly) I seem to go through periods of change where I need tweak various doses, ratios and settings in order to get them to behave normally*, so that the dose and timing of insulin for a meal which worked perfectly last week might be expected to work again for the same meal this week - in the SAME way (craziness!).

* I realise, of course that this has no actual meaning in day-to-day diabetes management terms. But it is, nevertheless, a nice idea.

An obvious one might be during a period of illness. You expect your insulin requirements to increase at some point, to some unknown level... but it's very difficult to actually anticipate with any certainty what the change might be and when it might happen. Even with illness, some coughs and colds behave completely differently to others BG-wise. Some are all up front. And it's only later when the sore throat appears that you understand why you've been fighting double figures (200s for US readers) for days. Other times you can have all the symptoms of a stinking cold, but BG just potters along entirely unaffected. Then if you have needed to up all your basals and/or doses, you know that at some (again unknown) point in the future you will need to rein them all back in again or you'll be landed squarely in hypo-central.

Another favourite is a fall-off of gym visits during a school holidays. I'm just coming into that now - the girls break up for Easter today. As the rhythm of the house changes I find it all but impossible to get up and out early enough to get to the gym and still be able to start work on time. For the first week things often toddle along as normal, but then one day in week two BAM! It's as if my insulin has turned to water. So I try to make sensible, small changes to basals. Enough to have an effect, but not so much as to go too far the other way. The constant balancing act. This usually involves a frustrating few days of doing battle with double-digit readings, however careful I am being with food and carb counts.

More recently I have also noticed an unusual phenomenon which I will be watching with interest this time. In animation 'slow in/slow out', 'squash and stretch' and 'follow through' refer to a more realistic way of handling movement. Movement tends to begin gradually, then accelerate, then slow again into changes of direction. You can almost feel it in yourself as you move about. Squash and stretch and follow through relate to the way animated objects often appear more satisfying if there is a little elasticity added. Rather than just stopping hard at the end-point there's a little extra movement beyond it and then a bounce-back to rest.

This seems to be exactly what happens with my dose tweaks too. I battle with highs for days struggling to find the right level of increase. Then I find it and I get perhaps a day or two of good numbers. But then I seem to get a little 'bounce back' and have a day of low readings where I have to dial the adjustments back down again to counter. And then things settle. At least for a while... before we're off again.

I think it's important for Healthcare Professionals to understand the relentlessness of these daily adjustments when they peer rather disparagingly at a printout of ropey numbers. There is no 'right' set of ratios and correction factors, only 'right for now'. This darned condition doesn't stand still for a minute and all the time you are playing catchup you are logging results that are outside of what you'd like to see, not because you are not trying hard or putting the effort in, but just because the rules have changed. Again. If I get a settled week or two I count myself lucky. But I know that membership of #teamsmug is usually very short lived.

That's all folks!